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Disappear

Hans van Lint, Ed Wernke, Ed Roes, Clemens Steenweg, Jan Nieuwenhuis

2022

magic (4:28)
random draw (5:57)
the poet (3:22)
between the lines (5:24)
keytar (4:31)
disappear (7:48)
conversation (4:08)
58 people (6:38)
dreamer (4:28)

Disappear / Credits

For absent friends are Edwin Roes (electric & acoustic guitars, samples & loops); Edwin Wernke (drums, drum loops); Hans van Lint (lead and backing vocals; piano, samples); Clemens Steenweg (keyboards, piano, organ, backing vocals); Jan Nieuwenhuis (bass, 12 strings; backing vocals). All songs written, arranged and produced by for absent friends. Lyrics Hans, except Poet (Clemens, Hans); Dreamer (Edwin R, Hans); and Keytar (dûh!). Drums recorded at Emiel Zwaard Studio, Delft (emielzwaardrecording.nl); Demo’s, guitars, and the rest at Moving View Studios (movingview.nl) and in home studios across the lowlands. Mixed at Moving View studios, Wassenaar. Mastered at Abbey Road Studios, London. 

1/ Magic

That it’s hydrogen atoms fusing

into helium and 

a blast of particles

doesn’t mean that

a sunset isn’t beautiful


it just means that we know how

nature conjures up its magic

and it’s front row seats for all

 

that it’s chemical electronics

several billions of neurons firing

don’t mean that the love we

experience isn’t real


it just means that we know how

nature conjures up the magic

and let’s us celebrate it all


the world is so much richer

when you got it wrong

just follow the evidence


that it’s replications 

of variations

under pressure 

of selection powers

don’t mean that our lives have

been robbed of all meaning


it‘s the other way around

when nature conjures up its magic

and let’s us celebrate it all

2/ Random draw

In all our lives

the one thing that 

we’ve all been given

is this deck of cards

this pool of genes and 

arbitrary lines

drawn in the sand

around the places we call home

that we mistake …

for castles that we own


In all our lives

the one thing that 

we’ve all been given

is this random draw

amongst the mums and dads

that were living

and they colored who we are

they took us places

that we call home

that we mistake for

castles that we own


and we don’t


and I won’t sit here moaning

‘bout going out 

the place to choose

while you’ve spent all your money

losing everything you’ve got to lose


It’s understood

the earth beneath 

the lives we’re living

is this pale blue dot

that’s spinning round and round

and round and round it goes

oblivious to monkeys

fighting for their rocks

that they call home

mistaking them for 

castles that they own


and I can’t sit her bloating 

‘bout what I think I have achieved

while you’ve put all your money

on promises and 

wolves and thieves

 

and I won’t sit here moaning

‘bout going out 

the place to choose

while you’ve spent all your money

losing everything you’ve got to lose


a few thousand miles

of air that we can breathe


less than one

out of a hundred cups of water

that we can drink


this random draw

is all we got

3/ The poet

the poet is blessed

with an aura like Jezus

with a handshake inspiring

both reverence and trust

addressing our needs

like a business man does

the best of the best

and the rest eats the dust


so here it goes

a poem sent down

straight from the tower


the poet dislikes

to be pushed for a truce

to settle for piece

when besieged by fake news

early reports really

don’t look that good

God bless the guns

that protect kids at school


so there it goes

a poem sent down

straight from the tower

two-hundred and eighty

magnificent strokes

it’s bold and it’s true

the hoax is Chinese

there’s a brave new world

waiting for you


so here’s to the women

free press

and to science

to stand-up

to reason

to love

to polite

to great-great-grandchildren

to life

to opt-out

to hope against hope

in a world gone crazy


and there it goes


some say it’s a fact

there’s a socialist pact

and a brave new world

waiting for you


the poet believes

in a world free of lies

in justice and frontiers

of blue-coloured stripes

impregnable values

the wrongs and the rights

America first

given male

given white


so here it goes

a poem sent down

straight from the tower

two-hundred and eighty

magnificent strokes

it’s bold and it’s true


be careful my friend

you’re missing a trend

there’s a brave new world

waiting for you

4/ Between the lines

if I ever had a chance

I just didn’t take it

the chance to say the words

I just didn’t say them

if I ever made us feel

coming second place


if I ever had

this distance about me

the air as if I

could have done it without you

if I ever made us feel

routine everyday


know that you were inside 

like the drum of a heartbeat

in the air I breathe 

in the water I need

just like poetry 

you can read between the lines


if I ever gave you

the kind of love you wanted

if I didn’t understand

but still gave you comfort

if I ever did

keep it treasured in your heart


if the words that I’d say

were too easy then

too self-assured

to mean anything

if I ever let the doubt

take over you


know that you were inside 

like the drum of a heartbeat

in the air I breath 

and in the water I need

just like poetry 

you can read between the lines

 

cause every time I thought I was lost

 

every time I thought I saw you

most of it was spots before my eyes

in all my life

you were there

when it all was falling down


every step I am losing my ground

ohoh


every time I thought I saw you

most of it was spots before my eyes


in all my life

you were there

when it all was falling down


every time I thought I knew you

I missed the tell-tale signs of our demise


I was losing my ground

I am losing my ground


you can read it

right between the lines

you can read it

between the lines

5 /  Keytar

Instrumental ....

5 /  Disappear

what’s that noise

from down the hall?

these muffled voices

calling someone

where’s a telephone

when you need one?


the place it looks familiar

but something crucial

is missing here

this unexpected mist

that’s moving in


makes me disappear


where are you?

are you there?


why these violent sentiments

I didn’t do nobody wrong

where’s a loving arm

when you need one?


the room the shadows

on the floor

the walls they look unnatural

this unexpected madness

in the air


makes me disappear


where are you now?

are you there?


I’d like to tell you

just how wonderful it was

to get to know you

but I don’t remember

and I can see the weight it carries

when I don’t recognize

your faces anymore


I disappear

 

where did all my family go?

I’ve got to let

my parents know

someone should

be calling 911


that silhouette

behind the door

is making me

uncomfortable

this unexpected

violence in the air


make it disappear

7/ Conversation

in a conversation

that we never had

we were talking about our childhood

that outside

our lives were worlds apart

and inside

so much felt so alike


and the truth was

something flexible

and it seemed we laughed

and talked for weeks on end

about the stuff you made

from scraps and shambles

worth all the money ever spent


and I could see you 

so much clearer than 

I ever did before


in a conversation

that we never had

we were talking

of boys becoming men

of all the first times

and the last times

how they shaped our lives

our confidence


there were silences

they were comfortable

some things

are better left unsaid

but we could read

between the lines

we knew exactly

what the other meant


and I could hear you 

so much louder than 

I ever did before


in a conversation

we never had

we looked back at 1981

when I lost my faith

in what is good

and what is right

and you felt you lost your family


and I asked you how and why

and you told me you were sorry

and so did I

so did I

so am I


in a conversation

we never had

I told you how much I love you

how much I’d miss you

when you leave

how much of you I find in me


and I could see you 

I’d see you

I see you 

so much clearer now

than I ever did before


you stopped breathing

8/ 58 People

58 people on a tram

staring rumbling

in their pockets

work and calls and busy tunes

they fit inside a wafer can


58 people on a tram

look like me

and look at me

weary gaze and vague expressions

climbing up the food chain


58 people on a tram

hasty I love you’s

silent hums

and it’s us and them

man to man


this is here

this is now

completely lost

inside a crowd

this is here

this is now

let me out


58 suits no 59 or 60 something

I’ve lost my count

chasing numbers

like sharks in the shallows

waiting for the kill


58 people on a tram

skip their breakfast

without a blink

and it’s us and them

man to man


this is here

this is now

completely lost

inside a crowd

this is here

this is now

let me out


and let me

see you again


let me

feel you again


58 people on a tram

don’t have a clue

just where I am

close your eyes

and I’m home again


this is here

this is now

completely lost

inside a crowd

this is here

this is now

let me out

9/ Dreamer

I used to dream

flying across water and land

leaving my footprints in the sand

everywhere I'd been


that I was the one

who decided where the wind would blow

making the sunshine, rain or snow

and paint colours into trees

(in every colour that I please)


there’s enough fire to light

enough of this dream to life

there’s enough space and time and strings

to pull us through these waters


if I was the one

who decided where the wind would blow

making the sunshine, rain or snow

everywhere I'd been


I flew to deserts

carrying clouds upon my back

and a rainbow caught up in my sack

to turn sand into green

(some of the brightest that I’ve seen)


there’s enough air to breathe

for all of this life to live

there’s enough space and time and strings

to pull us through these waters

 

there’s enough fire to spark

enough of this dream to life

there’s enough space and time and strings

to pull us through these waters

 

there’s enough air to breathe

there’s enough fire to light

there’s enough space and time and strings

there’s enough for us all


there’s enough air

there’s enough for us all